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The journal of Captain Obvious

Discussion in 'Red Dead Discussion' started by Chinny-againny, Feb 26, 2013.

  1. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    This thread is for anyone who would like to point out obvious do's or dont's related to game play.

    Example 1: don't tell another player they suck if they have wiped the floor with you several matches in a row. You might not like the way they are playing but they whooped ur ass didn't they? So STFU! Unless of course they are lag switching bitches in which case call em out and keep talking crap until they leave or get voted out of the match.

    Example 2: Don't threaten to come and kill another player when you have no idea where they live....think about it....even if you did know where they live are you seriously going to go to someones house and kill them over a video game? Really? How dumb do YOU sound? IN addition they could record you, send it to the police, and you could potentially face charges for terroristic threats. It's unlikely but there could be a really bored cop out there somewhere...

    NOOB: GEE! THANKS FOR THE ADVICE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

    Captain: Any time kid......Any time.....(cap. obv. tips his hat, turns, and walks into the sunset....)
     
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  2. booshthelurker

    booshthelurker Mediocre Moderator

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    So this less about gameplay than interacting with people online? I like it a lot.

    There really should be a thread like this that people have to read, or for every MP game for that matter. Just to make sure people know what is actually happening - virtual gaming across great distances with people you're very unlikely to meet.

    Some people find that empowering because in real life they... well, have no power. I understand it as we all have felt that way at some point.

    I enjoy meeting these tough talkers who brag and threaten with a nice big batch of "Hey FRIEND" cookies. It totally throws salt in their game. When you engage them any other way, aside form straight up muting/ignoring them, you become part of the problem and fuel their idiocy - and even become their equal...

    So my advice to people interacting with others online: don't feed the idiots by being a stupid raging idiot just like them.
     
  3. Persht

    Persht Administrator Staff Member

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    Online etiquette at reddead.us? OMGERD the world is ending :stab:

    JK this is a good idea for a thread.

    Don't continually use the other players 'mother' or 'sister' in your insults. That's bland and unoriginal! We've heard it before and shows a lack of intelligence.
     
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  4. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    I personally like to remain completely calm, spoon feed them till they completely flip out, and then laugh at them. At that point I don't care if I am even winning the match because I'm LMAO for the whole game. Every now and then I do feed into it though and need to stop, I usually catch myself.

    NOOB: WOW CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! YOU SURE ARE LEARN-ED IN THE WAYS OF ONLINE GAMING!

    CAPTAIN OBVIOUS: It's pronounced LEARNED kid......learned (capt. obv. tips his hat, walks off and quietly pinches out a fart so that no one can hear it but him....he smiles and takes a deep breath through his nostrils as he walks into a random desert)

    NOOB: (mumbling to self) no....I'm pretty sure its learn-ed in that context....
     
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  5. booshthelurker

    booshthelurker Mediocre Moderator

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    Same goes for sexuality. It's offensive to some, but more than that it's just so trite. I'm not advocating insulting, but for christ's sake you get more of a reaction when you say something that surprises the other person. Everyone sees "fag" or "homo" coming from a mile away.

    Also, calling people out on their tactics such as weapon use, camping, taking cover, etc will only make you sound like a pussy for expecting others to play how you want them to. Only little kids try to make their own rules for others to follow when playing games. Little, pathetic kids.
     
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  6. TequilaFire

    TequilaFire Administrator Staff Member

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    LMFAO well then boosh we have a site full of :CatSleep:
     
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  7. booshthelurker

    booshthelurker Mediocre Moderator

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    Well, that's just my opinion and I have no expectation that others agree. It was me just spouting off like a :dancingpoop:

    Also, I'm just following in the tradition set forth by Valjina by being staff on a forum and making negative sweeping statements about both the majority of the forum's members and groups of people I don't identify with. It's kind of a tradition amongst douche bag staff like he and I. lol
     
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  8. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    Believe it or not there is a nifty feature on the contorls for RDR multiplayer where you can mute people if they are getting on your nerves. Then you get to talk shit and remind them that you cant hear a freaking word that they are sayin! Then you can continually say "what I can't hear you I muted you say it again?" every time their icon shows sound coming out.= until they rage quit and their head spontaneously combusts.

    NOOB: CAPTAIN OBVIOUS UR MY HERO!

    Captain Obvious: Don't let that get around kid....people will think ur weird....(Cap. obvious tips his hat, scratches his crotch with the finess of a sculptor, and walks into Wal-Mart) HEY! THIS STORE IS FULL OF TRAILER TRASH!!!

    WAL MART CUSTOMERS(in unison): THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

    ......get it?....cuz it's a captain obvious joke featuring captain obvious? Yeah??? eh??? I'm slapping my knee right now...
     
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  9. booshthelurker

    booshthelurker Mediocre Moderator

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    Blocking people is fun!

    I do have a few questions about the block feature:
    -If I block somebody do thy know it?
    -Are they PMing me thinking I'm getting it?
    -How does the block work?
    -Can you posse a person you have blocked?

    I do know I can't hear them even if they have a mic, but that's all I know.

    Does block take them off my "players met" list. Sometimes I see a player and go to PM them so I look in "players met, but" they are not listed. If I block somebody and they make a new profile does their new name not show up?
     
  10. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    Your questions are too specific. Captain obvious cannot answer such questions.

    NOOB: Awwww....

    Captain obvious: Sorry kid......(tips hat, rasies left leg while pulling out a lighter).......maybe this'll cheer ya up.....(realeses methane gas in the form of a fart while sparking the lighter causing a tremendous combustion reaction) ......

    NOOB: (rubbing forehead) Why can't I feel my eyebrows?

    NO seriously though If you mute them they can still hear you unless they mute you as far as I know. You can barely hear them but still can when muted and I have heard them react to things I've said even after muting. As for the messaging the only way to test that would be to maybe have a friend deliberately block you for a short period of time....you try to message them and see what happens? Then they can unblock you and add you back? Funny you mention it, at one point on my old account I had so many haters that would message me that I actually filled my block list quota on PS3 and just for RDR!
     
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  11. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    NOOB: HEY CAPTAIN OBVIOUS? WHAT'S A "CAMPERO"?

    Captain obvious: A campero is a term used by Spanish speaking imbeciles who don't like it when other players camp. However, understand that whether you are camping or not these individuals will call you a "campero" for the entire duration of the match, and will often be camping themselves. For the record, "campero" is not even a word in Spanish as I asked a friend of mine who is Mexican. You are best off ignoring any idiot who starts calling you that along with their stupid friends. I reccomend that you advise them to STFU as campero is not even a word and that if they don't like it tell them to go watch some "Telemundo".

    NOOB: THANKS CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!

    Captain Obvious: I aim to please kid.....I aim to please....(cap. obvious tips his hat with a gentle smile, turns and walks down the street.....a homeless person asks him for change as he walks away.....cap. obvious stops, looks at the homeless man and says "STFU campero...." and walks away).
     
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  12. Persht

    Persht Administrator Staff Member

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    Hey Captain Obvious what does STFU mean?

    jk jk lol
     
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  13. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    Haha......lmao
     
  14. DooDoo

    DooDoo OG: Original Gluesniffer

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    There's a nice feature on PS3 in the account settings/privacy where you can block incoming messages from people that aren't on your friends list. Comes in handy if you receive a steady barrage of hate mail like I used to. Sometimes I envision a shit talker composing a 2-3 page novel about how much I suck, only to have it say "User does not accept messages" when he hits SEND......lulz.
     
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  15. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    NOOB: Hey captain obvious did you know about that feature?

    Captain obvious: nope....I sure didn't kid, I sur didn't.....( tips hat, frowns, and walks away in shame toward local saloon to drownd sorrows with booze).
     
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  16. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    That does however answer the question about being able to send messages when a user blocks you.
     
  17. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    NOOB: Hey captain obvious, why do other players camp when I keep killing them over and over and over and over when they go back to the same spot?

    Captain obvious: They just don't know any better kid.....may god have pitty on their poor souls. IN fact, one of the ten comandments in the bible says "though shalt not camp".....chew on that one for a minute....(Cap. obvious tips his hat, turns, and walks into the sunset...)

    NOOB: (mumbles to self) Now I know that's bullshit....unless it's in the book of Mormon or some shit.
     
  18. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    Captain obvious advice: If you are under the age of 18 go to bed. Go to school and get an education. In 10 years when you don't graduate not one will care about your stats on the leaderboard that you stayed up all night to get. All they will care about is how well you serve them their Big Macs or or how quickly you get them through the checkout line at the gas station/grocery store/wal mart/ etc.......In addition you won't be getting much tail as no self respecting woman would want to date an absolute loser.

    In addition, being racist, homophobic, misogynistic, or just plain rude will not make you look cool online. It will only reconfirm the fact that you are indeed poor, white, trailer trash with loser parents who don't care about you and that most of you meals probably consist of a bag of chips and a soda. Your insults will be considered pathetic, uncreative, and stupid.

    NOOB: So calling people ni--ers, fa-s, bitches and so on just makes me look like a little rage quitting bitch?

    Cap. Obvious: Now ur learning' kid.........now ur learning......(tips hat and walks in the direction of the nearest trailer park as he pulls out a loaded sawed off from his western style duster)........ I think it's time to take out the trash.......
     
  19. KittyKAT15234

    KittyKAT15234 Career Criminal

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    what if you can't control what you say. im sure Persht can back me up on this. When i rage i say the most random things and i don't know where the words come from!

    then again. i finished school, i have a career. i also have a social life. Does that make it ok?!

    (falls to her knees, and begs) TELL ME CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! PLEEAAASEEE!!!!!
     
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  20. Chinny-againny

    Chinny-againny Wrangler

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    IMAO

    If this is the case congratulations on graduating and having a good career and social life. You make captain obvious proud. You may however need to consider anger management classes or getting assessed for turrett syndrome if you can't control yourself. I am however certain that if you have an education you can add injury to insult by using disrespectful phrasing followed by something clever. Example: What? I can't hear you fa--ots at the bottom of the scoreboard? SPEAK UP?

    This would negate the fact that you called someone a fa--ot because it was folllowed by something clever.

    And yes I am aware that I said Injury to insult....I am captain obvious after all......
     
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